The Shazbot Blues

Evil Western Propaganda

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You Have Heart
Fandom: MCU/Marvel
Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark
Rating: T
Chapter: 1/11

In a world with no Bruce Banner, Loki’s attack on Earth was successful. However, the new king is not happy with his position and ends up surrendering to the Avengers, expecting to be imprisoned or executed. Instead, he is given a second chance, as Tony Stark vouches for him, and the Avengers accept Loki into their ranks. While at first no one really trusts him, he soon proves that his intentions are genuine. Meanwhile, his relationship with Stark blossoms into a romance.
All would be well, if not for Loki’s past catching up with him. Memories of a traumatic experience threaten not only to ruin Loki’s career as an Avenger, but to fracture his very mind.

Trigger warnings: PTSD, panic attacks, vague allusion to past torture.
Will be updated on Wednesdays and Sundays.

Takes place approximately a year and a half after the events of The Only Thing Worth Anything.
Below is a list of things that will make reading easier if you just want to read this part, but not the first one.

Read more …

Filed under Loki/Tony Stark Loki Tony Stark IronFrost FrostIron

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So I had the misfortune of reading an article with a very telling title “Steven Moffat is a Feminist and You Are Wrong if You Disagree”, whereupon the author spends thousands of words on trying to prove himself credible because he is a self-proclaimed feminist with a degree, and then redefining feminism until Moffat sort of fits into it, and misogyny until he sort of doesn’t. And when a commenter calls him out on it, the response is condescension and an insult to the commenter’s nationality. The article contains arguments that call out Moffat’s misogyny and quotes that demonstrate it, followed by “well, yes, of course, but let’s cut him some slack”, “but there are shows much worse than this” and “but consider that maybe that wasn’t really what he meant”. That is akin to telling a woman that points out harassment that the guy is really just awkward and not at all creepy, and the woman must just be misinterpreting his intentions.
It is not at all surprising that most people that consider Moffat a feminist are actually men. Men that think that proclaiming yourself a feminist is really all it takes to be one. Now go ahead, call me a mysandrist for pointing this out, because you can call yourself a feminist to make your opinion sound more valid, but I don’t get to call you out on the fact that you will never, ever feel the same way about misogyny as a woman does. It is simply not possible. And whereas a man, even a genuine feminist, will always approach the subject from a theoretical standpoint; for a woman, the reaction will be visceral. I don’t sit around wanting to hate Moffat. I want to enjoy Doctor Who like I did before he took over. I approach everything with the desire to enjoy it. The truth is just that I simply can’t, because it makes me uncomfortable at best and hurt at worst. You can twist around a definition until it fits your needs, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel sick watching Moffat’s creations, and I’m not alone. So claiming that Moffat is a feminist is not just baffling, it’s insulting. Even if I did enjoy his work, I wouldn’t be calling him a feminist, because that is simply not the case. Plenty of people are able to enjoy his work and still be aware of his discriminatory tendencies, because you can enjoy something and still realize how problematic it is, and vice versa. If you enjoy Moffat’s work, by all means, and I’m a bit jealous of you. But awarding a feminist title to a man who openly claims that women only watch Sherlock because they’re attracted to the lead is just preposterous and an insult to common sense. 
Now, obviously, I’m not saying that a man is incapable of understanding misogyny in media, or that all women are inherently attuned to it or anything. There are plenty of women that have had misogyny so deeply internalized that they throw around jokes like “if he beats her, that means he loves her”, and there are men that understand feminism through sheer force of knowledge and dedication. But it is, nonetheless, unsurprising to see that an article that calls a misogynistic writer feminist is written by a man. But even that aside, with the amount of condescension in the article, from it’s uncompromising title, to calling anyone that dislikes Moffat’s writing “pudding brains”, it’s a little difficult to brush off the feeling that the entire article was mostly a mockery of people that point out what Moffat is doing wrong, disguised as some kind of deep analytical piece and not just a bitter fan’s rant. Though considering that Moffat’s reaction to people pointing out the issues in his work is to insult those who dare criticize him, claim that their opinions are invalid, and surround himself with worshipers that feed his already enormous ego, instead of ever considering the possibility that he could genuinely be doing something wrong, it’s no surprise that a supporter of his would exhibit similar behavior. 
A thing that’s at least slightly distressing is that the article suggests using Moffat’s shows as a source to teach your children about feminist values. That’s like taking your children to McDonald’s for healthy eating because they have that one salad and really there are plenty of places with considerably worse food. If we’re entirely realistic, there really aren’t that many things at all on television that should be used to teach children feminist values. But if you’re so lazy as to rely on television to teach values to your child, feminism sure as hell shouldn’t be taught by Moffat.

Filed under Rant Moffat hate Misogyny Sexism I want to punch something

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Will forever be telling my grandchildren about that one time my selfies got 30 thousand notes in a day

I actually almost feel a little bad about the fact that we’re all obsessing with how gorgeous you are, because there’s more to a person than their looks. Not that people shouldn’t be enjoying your beauty, it’s just that when I see someone really attractive, my first thought is wondering what kind of person they are, because it feels a little wrong to admire the vessel without knowing the person it holds. 

Filed under Also your hands are really pretty

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My mother has this new shtick, where she says that her horrible treatment of me is in retaliation of how I treat her. I’m not entirely sure how that can make sense historically. Like…you pop a child, and the child treats you so badly with their crying and their eating and their pooping, that you decide to abuse them for the rest of their life? And when they finally grow old enough to try and defend themselves, you tell them that their acts of defiance are really the cause for all the abuse that has been bestowed upon them. Retroactively, I guess.
Then she challenges me to tell her how she ever mistreated me, and even though it’s kind of hard to just go ahead and list all the terrible shit you’ve been trying to suppress and not think about, I can generally come up with a few things, and her response is usually “you keep saying the same things”. Well, yeah, because they happened. Does the fact that I repeat them somehow make them less valid? I don’t understand this logic.

Filed under This blog is turning into perpetual whining I'm sorry Personal Rant tw: psychological abuse

44,237 notes

These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. ‘Why is she humoring him?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because he looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’

Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize.

Why it’s so hard for men to see misogyny (via ethiopienne)

I’d just like to add something to this. For additional perspective. 
One time I was on a bus, and this superdrunk dude was hitting on me, rather intrusively. I asked him not to touch me again. He didn’t comply. I warned him that if he touches me again I will be forced to retaliate. He didn’t comply. Eventually, I hit him with my water bottle. I didn’t hit him hard, I didn’t really cause him any harm, but it finally got the point across and he left me alone.
And then the fun part began…the whole bus ganged up on me - telling me I could have just ignored him, should have humored him, should have walked away (somehow, in a crowded bus). They said the guy was “just drunk” and therefore not responsible for his actions. Which for some reason meant that I was supposed to go out of my way to accommodate for him. Were I a man, if I punched the guy in the face, it would be met with applause; but for a woman to defend herself is unacceptable.
So there you have it. Whether a woman humors the drunk asshole to avoid violence or actually reacts in a more open, aggressive way, she will always be at fault. You just can’t win.

Filed under Misogyny Sexism Story time

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I have been sitting with a Word document open for two and a half hours. I have 439 words to show for my efforts.


This part of any fic I’ve ever written has always been the hardest, and with this particular fic, it’s even harder than usual. Because there are issues everywhere, and there’s a…

I usually have this around chapter 2.